i don’t know if i’ve gotten dumber but somehow my brain has a blockage when i try to think of blog topics. sometimes, well often, i feel like an a-hole for thinking anyone would want to read my blog. i believe the answer to that is, yes i am an a-hole. for a number of reasons. i think we just found our blog topic. see, sometimes i just start talking and i don’t have a plan for what i’m going to say (i.e every time i open my mouth) and i’ll improv. michael scott calls it an improversation. that’s exaclty what this is. it sucks when i realize mid sentence that the only way to rescue myself from a lack of forethought is to lie or to say it was just a dream. lucky for you this is a blog. so…thanks to my on the fly typing skills i would like to think of reasons i am an a-hole.
1. i leave my brights on all the time. my dim lights suck though.
2. i don’t talk to people on airplanes. i’m an incredibly personable and outgoing young lady, but just don’t talk to me on an airplane. i hate it.
3. i once stole lamb chops hair ties from a mall store.
4. I never replace the toilet paper roll. but it’s TOTALLY on accident. i just forget cuz we don’t have it in our bathroom and because i take great pride in my hand cleanliness i wash long enough to forget that we have no toilet paper. however, emily never seems to forget. now what does that say about her bathroom hygiene?
5. i seldom call people back. by the time i do they have either deleted my from their phones or kept my name in their phones so that they know not to answer it.
6. sometimes i like to do things spitefully. sometimes i like to scream MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM until she yells at me, pretty much exactly like that family guy commercial
7. i lose everything. only a jerk would do that.
8. i will never let a car in front of my when the lane is ending and they try to speed ahead. i will not. they suck worse than me.
9. i was a really crappy crocs employee.
You stole LAMB CHOP hair ties?????????????????? You should feel sheepish you baaaaaad girl.